I will be brief tonight as, honestly, I am just spent. After the roller coaster of the past few days, I woke up this morning beat down, and my morning call to the NICU just sent that into overdrive. After having an OK day yesterday, Sam took a pretty bad turn during the night. They had to up his oxygen levels but that did not stop him from having a number of apnea and brady events. By the morning, Sam was really not doing well. He had a major desaturation (down to 24) and despite vigorous stimulation, he had to be bagged to get him breathing again. I managed to call right when all this was happening. By the time I made it to the hospital at 11, Sam was back on SiPAP and doing so so.
The theory is that Sam is just pooped. Between the infection in his body and the fact that he is a preemie, his body is just tired out. Everyone tried to leave him alone today, only touching him when necessary. I spent 4 hours just sitting next to him and talking to him. When i left he was pretty stable, and I will just have to have faith that he will stay that way over night.
I never ever again want to hear that he had to be bagged to get him breathing again. That was just more than I could bare.
As I had no moment of zen today, and I can not provide one to you. Hopefully Sam will have a more stable day tomorrow and I will be able to take some pictures of him.