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Reflecting on my birthday

August 13, 2011 by melragent 1 Comment

I know… technically my birthday was a few days ago… but still…

It’s funny how one event can just shift your perception on everything.  If you had asked me last year on my birthday what I thought the coming year would be like, I can guarantee you I would not have described what happened.  Now, looking back, I can’t even remember what I did on my birthday!

I am sure I was seeing the light at the end of the second trimester tunnel- enjoying the smoothness of my pregnancy and planning for a fun filled last few months as a 3 person family.  I was blissfully ignorant.  Unaware that in one short month everything would change.

I have found myself thinking a lot lately about the last few weeks of my pregnancy and am overwhelmed with a sense of loss.  So many things I didn’t get to experience- and I am not just talking about being pregnant.  I missed out on so much of Irene’s first year of kindergarten.  I missed my 7th wedding anniversary (and a lovely trip to Carmel we had planned).  I missed Christmas at Tahoe.  I missed cooking Thanksgiving dinner.  I missed celebrating my husbands birthday.  I missed enjoying my daughters birthday.  I could go on- and on- and on.

As opposed to dwelling more on all of this- I will share with you my birthday wish for this- my 38th year.  Its a pretty simple wish- a trauma free year.  That’s all I want.  I have a beautiful family, 2 healthy children, an amazing husband and a network of friends and family whom I could not live without.  I will revel in all of that- and I will wish every day that we will mark another day off the calendar without a trauma.

What about you?  What do you wish for?

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Filed Under: 6 months to one year, Life at home

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Comments

  1. Lisa Harter says

    August 20, 2011 at 11:50 am

    Happy belated birthday Melissa!!! So sorry I missed it. A trauma-free year sounds pretty good, doesn’t it. I really hope that you get your wish this year and for many years to come. Call me when you get back from Cabo. I’d love to take you out for a belated birthday lunch. lisa

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I’m Melissa. My life was turned upside down when my second child, Sam, was born just 24 weeks into my pregnancy. This is our continuing story. Memoir about our experiences due out Nov 2, 2021

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