I know… technically my birthday was a few days ago… but still…
It’s funny how one event can just shift your perception on everything. If you had asked me last year on my birthday what I thought the coming year would be like, I can guarantee you I would not have described what happened. Now, looking back, I can’t even remember what I did on my birthday!
I am sure I was seeing the light at the end of the second trimester tunnel- enjoying the smoothness of my pregnancy and planning for a fun filled last few months as a 3 person family. I was blissfully ignorant. Unaware that in one short month everything would change.
I have found myself thinking a lot lately about the last few weeks of my pregnancy and am overwhelmed with a sense of loss. So many things I didn’t get to experience- and I am not just talking about being pregnant. I missed out on so much of Irene’s first year of kindergarten. I missed my 7th wedding anniversary (and a lovely trip to Carmel we had planned). I missed Christmas at Tahoe. I missed cooking Thanksgiving dinner. I missed celebrating my husbands birthday. I missed enjoying my daughters birthday. I could go on- and on- and on.
As opposed to dwelling more on all of this- I will share with you my birthday wish for this- my 38th year. Its a pretty simple wish- a trauma free year. That’s all I want. I have a beautiful family, 2 healthy children, an amazing husband and a network of friends and family whom I could not live without. I will revel in all of that- and I will wish every day that we will mark another day off the calendar without a trauma.
What about you? What do you wish for?