Day 13: September 29

One good day, one bad day… So, yesterday was the good day, I guess that makes today the bad day. When I arrived at the hospital, I was surprised to find Sam having his second blood transfusion. His first was on his second day of life. That one didn’t bother me. This one, got to me. I think part of it was how unexpected it was. The other was seeing how much the transfusion seemed to agitate Sam.

Standing next to his isolette watching Sam arch his back and flail his arms was more than I could take. For the first time since he was born I lost it next to his isolette. The nurse and Theresa were great with me. Helping me pull it together as best I could. I just think the past 13 days + lack of sleep + post partum hormones + having a preemie just got the better of me. I have been weepy all day.

As for Sam, he had a pretty rough night. Obviously his hemoglobin could was low, otherwise they never would have done the transfusion. On top of that, his kidney functions were still out of whack, but showing improvement. He also had a number for bradys and apnea events during the night and in the morning. It was so bad, that they were planning on intubating him in the afternoon. All of that information didn’t help calm me down at all.

By 2:30 pm, however, things started to change. The transfusion seemed to be helping, his breathing was much better and the re-intubation threat was lifted, and his kidney function was getting better. Aside from the numbers improving, the kidney ultrasound showed a little issue with one kidney, but they felt that issue could be tied to the PDA. The new plan is to check is kidney functions in the morning and possibly repeat the electrocardiogram just to see if the PDA got smaller in the past few days. Then, maybe they will start the Indicin.

As for me, I will be back again tomorrow hoping for a good day. I need him to have a good day. Not sure I could take a bad day again. Also hoping that we can have a cuddle tomorrow. With the transfusion under way, a cuddle was just not in the cards for me.

Here are a couple of good shots from today:

Sam's right eye was open today

Sam taking a look at his hand

Sam gripped my hand and would not let go- not that I encouraged it

And now for your first moment of zen:

And the second moment of zen:

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